Takes the best of me but come on and take the….
Okay, no. Just no. Back on track….
Right, so recently I’ve noticed quite a bit about the music I listen to and some of the hilarity hidden within, especially if you take some lyrics seriously. Now I’m gonna start with a true classic, “Cry Tonight” by “Hearts That Hate”, a song (and band) entirely created by the bizarre mind of MC Lars, to be sampled in his piss take of not only the emo genre, but the associated record companies and sub culture… In one fell swoop.
Now, what’s so brilliant about this song you ask? Quite simply the sheer accuracy of it’s “take” on Emo lyrics. Within one song he encompasses almost every theme of emo music, and has a song that actually could be seriously released and all those emo/scene fucktards would love it… Within the song it was actually created for, we hear only the chorus
“Cry tonight my hands around your hands
I wont let you die, tonight.
My heart’s in your hands
I wont let you die.”
Within those 4 lines we have love, crying over nothing, and complete bullshit. Sound familiar? Sure does! But why is it such a classic in my eyes? The simple fact, it is actually wrote quite well and it is genuinely a good song… albeit with totally tongue in cheek lyrics.
Now onto an entire genre, Hip-Hop….
Hip-hop is quite possibly the worse genre ever, it’s full of racism (I don’t care if you’re black, there is no fucking acceptable use for that word you dumb fuck), constant degredation of those wearing “other colours” and especially women, and last but least, a complete hatred of the police…. Now, where to begin with the many many points I could nitpick at? OH! I know, the fact that almost every rapper since the mid ’90s wouldn’t know what living in the hood was, even if the experience was somehow metamorphasied into a giant taller than the statue of liberty with a cock the size the empire state building, that it then proceeded to slap the living shit out of them with. That’s right! Most of your modern rappers are from MIDDLE CLASS backgrounds, and not to forget those who are shot all mysteriously never return fire, now call me whatever the fuck you want, but if someone is shooting at me and I’m armed, I ain’t gonna freeze up and think “OH GOD I’VE JUST BEEN SHOT”, my adrenaline sure as fuck wouldn’t let it happen, nor would it in any rational human being.
Don’t forget the petty fueds the ‘Artists’ insist on starting with one and other. Name one other genre in which there are literally fucking weeks worth of material having a go at every competitor under the son?
Done thinking? That’s right, the closest you can probably get is the entire Megadeth/Mettalica thing, and that rarely spills out of interview insults. It’s fucking ridiculous, almost as ridiculous as the constant “Violence is bad” face a large number put on infront of the cameras, despite the fact over half their music comes down to “Shoot that guy because he’s white, shoot that guy because he’s black, shoot that guy because he’s a cop and shoot that guy because well… I’m bored.”
What about the other half, I hear you cry? Well that’s the highly sexist stuff that is unintentionally hilarious. Now, for my example here I cite “Get Low” by Lil John.
“To the window, to the wall, (to dat wall)
To the sweat drop down my balls (MY BALLS)
To all these bitches crawl (crawl)”
So, my first problem with this is the obvious ball sweating… At what point did that become attractive to the other sex? Now I know there are some seriously desperate nut gobblers out there, but surely even they have some vague form of standards? I mean, short of a crackwhore desperate for the free coke she can score in the VIP rooms with these tards that try to sound like they actually know what good music is, who the fuck is gonna A find that attractive or B wanna go anywhere near balls as sweaty as the song implies?
“Now give me my doe back and go get ya friend
Stupid bitch standing there while I’m drinking my hen
Steady looking at me Still asking questions
Times up nigga pass me another contestant
Hoe move to the left if you ain’t bout 50th
Done talk through 3 or 4 songs already
looking at a nigga with yo palm all out bitch I ain’t even seen you dance
Twerk something baby work something baby
Pop yo pussy on the pole do yo thang baby
Slide down dat bitch
wit yo little bit then stop
Get back on the floor catch yo balance then drop
Now bring it back up clap yo ass like hands
I just wanna see yo ass drity dance yin yang we done again
And put it on the map like annnnn”
Now this verse. Where the fuck do I start? So let’s start with the beginning. So he wants his ‘doe’ back, now I’m assuming by that he really means ‘dough’, thus his money. So he’s paying a hooker that refuses to do what he asks. What the fuck kinda retards write this shit? And what the fuck kind of hookers do they go looking for? Anyways, on we go. So the hooker doesn’t do what he asks “Times up nigga, pass me another contestant” so obviously the logical answer is to ask your friend for another ‘contenstant’. Okay, I’m really lost in this, it’s just a sign of the nonsensenical bullshit that makes up this 50% of the genre… I find it hilarious it’s that bad. I mean it carries on, to her wanting money, and his only justification for not giving her any is that she ain’t danced? What the fuck? Now I’m no superman that knows everything about women, but do hookers just swarm to this guy? Or are they gold diggers? Or are they women trying to con a really drunk rapper? For the love of all that’s good in the world, I really hope they’re all con artists, cus I’d love to see one of the fucktards in the rap genre try and explain where their fortunes went to families…
Now, the next genre I have in mind is Death Metal, now I’m a really big fan, but fuck me, it’s an Emo genre… In fact it’s MORE stereotypically about the things people associate with Emo (well, the self harm atleast) than Emo music. The best example I can give for this is Imperanon, Rhythm of Pain.
“Cold sweat running down my skin
This feeling I loathe, This feeling I craved
To drown again in to emotional pain,
To burn in the fire of misery
Warm flames licking my skin
Intense feeling of suffering
My vision will fade,
My heart will break
Help me now, no,
Please let me go!
Pain so extreme as to cause writhing
I’m convulsed by the agony.
I’m alive yet, I wish I was dead,
I close my eyes and take the dying breath.
Pain, pain, go away, come back again another day.
I can only escape it for a while, kill this pain, take it away.
All my pain, all away and here it comes back again…”
So let’s start with the obvious. This guy is cutting throughout the entire song, yet unlike the Emo kids, he obviously understands WHY it feels good and he even has the balls to play with fire. Someone give this guy a medal or something, for once HE’S DOING IT RIGHT, not that I condone self harm, but ya know, credit’s due for doing it right.
Now, he obviously has suffered some wordly pain, quite emotionally damaging (I can assure you from the rest of the album it’s some pretty serious shit), he certainly didn’t get dumped by his first girlfriend at the age of 14 and equate that to being the end of his life, no sir-y!. This guy is serious business, in both his actions and his pain, so much so he pushes himself to the edge of his bodies limits, striving for that endorphin release that the average emo kid couldn’t understand or comprehend the reasoning behind, he needs it so badly that one could quite easily say he has become addicted to it, to him it is his drug, fuck crack he has his own release. Is it better or worse though? A great moral dilemma hidden away in the inference of the song.
Now, his love of pain and the endorphins he releases through it raise an interesting question when it comes to his convulsing, is it from pain, pleasure or both? Heck, could it even be a sign of sexual pleasure? It’s not unusual for some to reach such a dependency upon pain yet despite this we are reminded he can never escape, that he doesn’t have it in him to kill himself, be it for whatever reason before our final reference to his addiciton.
And that’s all I have to say for now. I must leave you with the reminder that despite my hatred of Hip-Hop and associated Genre’s, if I don’t take it seriously I can sometimes enjoy it, and I sure as hell have respect for the earlier pioneers who actually worked for their money, had a vague semblance of skill and even wrote sometimes quite decent lyrics… though I will admit I still find most of it unintentionally hilarious. I hope the insight into what I see in music has enlightened/disturbed/bemused you!