It’s been just over 8 years, 8 years since I took control of the UK, and look at how far we’ve come. Remember that Horrible recession? Not any more, I’ve already destroyed it, quadrupled our GDP and gave us a £100bn surplus. Remember how close the last election was? Not on my watch, I just started my third term with 75% of the vote.
You’ve probably heard my drunken and sober rants about how the Tory party is busy fucking everything up right now, about how censorship and restricting our rights is wrong, about how you spend to get out of a recession and so on, and now thanks to Democracy 3, I can prove my theories work, at least in a sandbox good enough that it’s predecessor has been used in classrooms across the world.
So how did I achieve my victory? Simple, I picked one issue at a time, and watched as the pieces fell into place. It started slow, a subsidy here, a legalization of weed there, an alteration of a tax rate there, a public works project here… Soon enough I’d made our security forces effective enough to eradicate crime, and that annoying organised element that was causing me the last stretch of bother? Legalise weed, legalise prostitution, tax the shit out of it and voila, a couple of billion for the deficit and better health for potheads and prostitutes across the board.
Soon enough I was spending like a mad man, health and crime problems a thing of the past, the only thing I couldn’t shake was the UKs Alcohol problem, but I am only a man, a man who really likes a drink himself, so fuck changing drinking laws. It’s around here it all started to go wrong, just after I won my second term (with 68% of the vote). I’d implemented far too many policies, the delayed effects of their costs snowballing in to an insane deficit of near £100BN, inflation was getting out of hand again and I’d caused another recession. Was it worth it? Yes, I had falling unemployment, almost no crime, no health problems and perhaps most importantly in just a few years I would have an insanely well educated workforce, heck I’ve educated my people so well that nobody gave a flying fuck when I decided that my pro-choice stance was now the law.
A few months later and the influx of highly paid service workers has fixed it all, I now had a £100bn surplus and 75% of the vote. I was a political god, with money to burn. surely this power won’t go to my head, right?